Annie Lou Eastman

Today we met Annie Lou Eastman.  She was stillborn this morning at 4:05 am.  She weighed 14 ounces and was 10 inches long.

This pregnancy had been a bit different then the last two, my placenta had attached on the front.  That made it harder to feel the baby move.  But I had felt her move.  My last doctors appointment was Dec. 18th and we heard her heart beat then.  But I hadn't really felt her move for about a week. And I noticed I had lost 3 pounds. I thought it was because I was working a lot and was tired.  So Sunday I focused all day on feeling her move, and I didn't.  On Monday morning I made an appointment to see Dr. Johnson.  When I got there I told him that I just hadn't been feeling right.  He tried to find the heartbeat with his little machine and couldn't.  I wasn't really worried because he'd had a hard time finding it before, since the placenta made it harder to hear it.  He then got his ultrasound machine and when he first got a picture he told me he was concerned because it looked like I had lost a lot of fluid.  I watched as he searched for the heartbeat, I couldn't see it and the baby wasn't moving.  We both knew she had died.  Dr. Johnson was amazingly supportive and tried to comfort me.  He said he didn't expect this, all my tests were great and I had no indicators for this.  He told me we would have to deliver her, and he went to call the hospital.  I tried to pull it together enough to call Chad.  He tried to comfort me the best he could on the phone, told me he would come be with me if I wanted him to.  I told him I would be ok and I would call him later.  Dr. Johnson came back to tell me I couldn't be seen until Thursday night, I told him to go call again because I was not going to stay in that condition until Thursday.  He came back again this time to tell me I could go to the hospital tonight.  I drove back to work and called my mom to tell her and ask her to watch the kids.  I went back to work because I was in shock and didn't want to go home.  Dr. Kimball and Ashley were very understanding.  I got my work lined out for the week and then mom and Cadie came and took me to get pizza.  Cadie and mom came home with me to watch the kids.  Once Chad was home and we were ready to go the hospital we told the kids where we were going and that the baby wouldn't be coming home with us.  We were not sure how much the kids were going to understand, but as we left Trevor said "when you are done taking the baby to Jesus can I play on your phone?"  His innocence is refreshing.


When we got the hospital we were put in a room and told I would be given medication to get things started and a sleeping pill so I could rest until morning when I would get more medication to progress the labor.  As we were getting settled the nurse brought in a gift from the nurses, a WillowTree angel figure.  Our nurse Michelle also brought in little blankets, hats and diapers to pick from to put on our baby.  There was also Mommy-Daughter braclets too.  They thought of things we never would have.  She gave me the first medication about 10:30 pm a couple of pills that you put between lip and gums that dissolves.  It was like a chunk of drywall, it took forever to dissolve.  I started to have cramps, but not too bad.  The ambien they gave me did not help me sleep, I just laid there and cried.  Around 2:30 am I started having some pretty strong contractions and the nurse said I should get an epideral, there was no reason to be uncomfortable.  So I got the epideral around 3:30 or so.  After I got situated back in bed I started to feel something down there and thought maybe is was my water breaking.  As the nurse was checking me the baby, sack and everything just came out.  She was very surprised it happened so fast.  We all were.  Chad and I just cried and hugged until Dr. Johnson got there to check the baby.  Dr. Johnson showed us a little kink in the cord close to where it attached to her.  He said he wanted us to have an autopsy and bloodwork done to help determine what went wrong.  They cleaned her up and weighed her, and we got to hold her.  She was so tiny and didn't look much like a baby.  She looked like a mouse to me.  She had some hair, maybe she would have had a ton like the other kids.  Her feet and hands were so tiny.  It was heartbreaking to hold her.  I called Cadie to come see her and she went and picked up mom and the kids.  I thought I wouldn't want them to see her but I did.  We named her Annie Lou after Grandma Hinshaw and my mom.

When Trevor and Lola came to see the baby they were both so cute with her.  Lola wanted to hold her over and over.  And when Trevor held her he told me she looked like ham.  His honesty cracks me up, she kinda did look like ham.

After family came to see her and the nurses had taken her hand and foot prints, a photographer came to take pictures.  A company called As I Lay Me Down to Sleep takes pictures of stillborn babies for free.  We weren't sure if we wanted some stranger to come take pictures of our baby.  But she was amazing and we are glad we did.  It takes 6 weeks to get the pictures back and I can't wait.  After we left the hospital we went to the mortuary to purchase a casket for Annie.  We are going to bury her at the Eastman Cemetery over the weekend.